You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
