how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
