considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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