I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
