Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Pooping to opera.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
