Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
