So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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