Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
