Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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