Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Randomize
