What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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