It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
This baby is an asshole
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
