That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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