i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
