She announced her abortion via fbk
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
