You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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