I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
