I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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