like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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