well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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