please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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