8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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