I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
