evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
