You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
