You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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