P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
