Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Found the puke drawer
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
