he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
