my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
