Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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