I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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