i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
