I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
