he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i dont even know how to be here
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
