I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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