conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize