oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize