I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
