i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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