Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
