I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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