I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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