very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
