She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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