I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
splinters make it hard to masturbate
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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