o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
