i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Everclear isn't food dammit
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
