Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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