watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize