I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
