He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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