Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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