Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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