I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
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