Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
