I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
