its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
