...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
