non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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