the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We had sex on a dog bed..
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
