that's an acceptable place to lick
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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