the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
