i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
